Mask or Menace Application

[am_i_a_monster]

〈 PLAYER INFO 〉
NAME: Laura
AGE: over 18
JOURNAL:http://laura-suzuki.dreamwidth.org/
IM / EMAIL: laura_suzuki@zoho.com
PLURK:
RETURNING: No, I'm new.

〈 CHARACTER INFO 〉
CHARACTER NAME: Abigail Hobbs
CHARACTER AGE: 18
SERIES: Hannibal
CHRONOLOGY: After her death.
CLASS: Anti-Hero. She's not really the hero type, but she carries a great deal of guilt about her past and might help others to alleviate it.
HOUSING: Random, near Will Graham if possible.

BACKGROUND: Abigail was born into an ordinary world, but she was never able to have a normal life. From the day she was born and her dad named her Abigail, meaning joy of the father, he loved her in an intense and obsessive way. He took her on long hunting trips, which she hated at first. She didn't like killing and gutting beautiful, intelligent animals such as deer. Her father told her that they were honouring the deer by using every part of it. He convinced her to enjoy hunting.

As her high school graduation drew close, he couldn't handle the thought of losing her. His obsession led him to want to kill and eat her, as he thought it would make her a part of him forever. To fight his desires, he decided to find substitutes to kill in her place. His victims were either attending or applying to the same universities that Abigail applied to, and all had a strong resemblance to Abigail. He involved Abigail in these crimes, telling her that he would kill her if she refused. He made her meet young women, talk to them to find out where they lived, when they were alone and other information that she could pass along to her father. She felt she had no other choice and never tried to escape or contact authorities.

One morning, Abigail answered the phone in her home. The caller asked to speak to her father, and she handed the phone over to him. The caller said two simple words - "They know." It was enough to convince Abigail's father that he would be caught for his crimes. He believed his family would be better off dead then live without him. He killed Abigail's mother, Louise, and held a knife to Abigail's throat, claiming he would "make it all go away." Help arrived in the form of Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter. Garrett managed to slit Abigail's throat and was killed by Will, who then tried to stop Abigail's bleeding unsuccessfully. Hannibal took over by clamping his hand over her wound, keeping her alive until an ambulance arrived. He accompanied her in the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Abigail slipped into a coma and while Will and Hannibal would sit by her bedside, she was alone when she regained consciousness. She was transferred to a psychiatric facility, under the care of Dr. Alana Bloom. Abigail displayed little emotion around Alana, preferring to discuss matters more practical than her trauma. She was careful not to reveal the darkest truths about her past. Abigail was slowly able to gain sympathy from Alana, revealing enough glimpses of her trauma to make Alana want to defend her and help her regain her self-confidence.

Hannibal also wanted to help Abigail, though he didn't always agree with Alana's approach. One of the first disagreements with Alana, was based on his desire to take Abigail back to her childhood home. When Abigail arrived, she saw the word 'cannibals' spray-painted on the house, but it did not deter her from going inside. She stood near the spot where her mother died and said her last goodbyes to a blood stain left behind, as her mother had been cremated while Abigail was comatose. Abigail wanted to re-enact her mother's death and her own brush with death, but changed her mind when she was briefly reunited with a friends of hers named Marissa.

While Abigail was with Marissa, she was approached by a man named Nicholas Boyle. He suspected wrongly that his sister was killed by her father and accused Abigail of helping to kill her. He left, and shortly afterwards, Marissa left and was killed. When Abigail found Marissa's murdered body in her father's cabin, she was horrified, She wrongly believed Nick had killed Marissa. This led to a confrontation in which Abigail killed Nicholas Boyle, thinking she was defending herself against a murderer. This killing made her feel powerful in a way that helping her father commit murder never did.

Abigail returned from the trip, haunted by what she'd done to Nicholas. Spending nights in the hospital room felt too confining for her, when she alone with her memories. She escaped by climbing over a wall and went to visit Hannibal. She told Hannibal that she recognized him as the man who called her father. She accepted his first explanation for calling that night without question. Hannibal was the only one she felt she could trust. Hannibal did not let her stay the night, but did arrange for her to be allowed to leave the hospital under his care, during the day.

Hannibal and Will would both visit her at the hospital. Will reached out to her in positive ways, telling her that there was nothing wrong with her and that she was important to him. Each time, she rejected those ideas and was never able to bond with him as she did with Hannibal. She believed she would always reminded him of her father and worried about how he would react if he knew about Nicholas Boyle and what she did for her Dad.

Another visitor was Freddie Lounds, a reporter. Freddie was able to manipulate Abigail, convincing her that she would be labelled as a killer and live in poverty unless she wrote a book to explain her point of view. These fears, especially the fear of being judged a killer, weighed heavily on Abigail's mind. Despite objections from Will and Hannibal, Abigail continued to meet with Freddie. Freddie told Abigail that Nicholas Boyle was innocent, making her feel even more like a monster.

Abigail became terrified that Nicholas's body would be found and it would be inevitable that everyone would know she was a monster. She snuck out of the hospital again to dig up his body, so it would be found, rather than live with the fear permanently. Hannibal disapproved of her actions, questioning if he could trust her, but he continued to bond with her. When the body was found, Abigail was forced to look at the body and answer questions from the FBI.

During one of her visits to Hannibal's home, Hannibal gave her psilocybin tea to aid in her treatment for the nightmares. Their therapy was interrupted by Alana Bloom, who was angry that Hannibal had taken Abigail out of the hospital. They argued, and Alana calmed down enough to stay for dinner. Under the effects of the tea, Abigail hallucinated Hannibal as her father, and Alana as her mother.

As her relationship with Hannibal progressed, she confessed to him about the role she played in her father's crimes. She broke down in tears and he comforted her, telling her that she wasn't a monster, she was a victim. She worried about being caught. Hannibal assured her that Will truly did see her in a positive light and would protect her even if he knew the truth about her past. After this, Abigail was able to be more accepting of Will.

Abigail admitted to Will that killing Nick Boyle made her feel powerful and that she wished she had killed her father before he killed any of his victims. She willingly went on a trip with him to her father's cabin. She realized that Hannibal hadn't told Will the whole truth about her past. When Will figured it out on his own, she became afraid and ran away from him.

Abigail went back to her childhood home, where Hannibal was waiting. She was relived to see him until she realized that he was a serial killer. She was terrified that he would kill her, and yet made no attempt to scream or run. He offered to help her fake her death and she quickly agreed, enchanted with the idea of leaving her past behind her and the promise of a new, happier life. She allowed Hannibal to draw her blood and remove her ear to make her fake death convincing.

After living with Hannibal long enough, she was desperate to maintain her bond with him. She pushed Alana out of a window in order to preserve her bond with Hannibal and for the promise of a new family with him and Will, one where they protected each other. This hope for the future disappeared when Hannibal stabbed Will in front of her. She went to Hannibal when he called her to him, knowing he would kill her, and he cut her throat. As she laid on the floor dying, Will tried to save her but he was unsuccessful.

PERSONALITY:
Abigail's first connections with others were with her parents. The bond with her father was particularly intense. In childhood and during her teen years, she was made to be dependent on her father, to the extent that she followed his orders over her own judgement. He involved her in horrible murders of girls that looked just like her and attended the same schools she applied to, as described in the background section. Abigail thought that she could never leave him, not even for an education. She believed he would kill her if she ever refused his orders. She was unable to see any possibility of thinking for herself or choosing her own actions. She hated what her father made her do; it made her feel like a monster. She also despised that he killed her mother and slit her throat. She felt anger and resentment that she was denied a normal life. She was horrified after his death when she realized he had fed his victims to her and she found their hair inside her pillows. Despite all of this, she kept that bond with him. It was similar to a prisoner bonding with their captor as a survival technique. This learned dependency drove her to act in rash ways after his death, made her very vulnerable to the manipulations of those with strong personalities, and caused her to seek out bonds with others who remind her of her father. She may continue to seek out these bonds in the future.

After the death of her parents, Abigail was in a coma and then in a psychiatric facility. This limited the number of people she could have interactions with. One of the first people she spoke with in the psychiatric facility was Dr. Alana Bloom. Alana was the first person Abigail practiced her manipulation on after the death of her father. For details on this manipulation of Dr. Bloom, see her background section. Abigail also cared about Alana and viewed her as her mother while under the effects of psilocybin. Despite this, Abigail never bonded with Alana as she did with Hannibal and eventually pushed her out a window under Hannibal's instruction. She felt she had no other choice, similar to how she felt when helping her Dad. She believed attacking Alana was necessary to create a new life for herself, and this turned out to not be the case as Hannibal killed Abigail moments later. Abigail remains unaware that Alana survived and feels tremendous guilt.

Nicholas Boyle was a man who had little connection to Abigail in life. It was his death that impacted Abigail. As described in the background section, he was a man killed by Abigail in what she thought was self-defense. After his death, the memory of this act affected Abigail. The fact that the killing him felt good intensified her view of herself as a monster, especially after she learned he was innocent of her friend, Marissa's murder. She continues to feel guilt for this as well.

A reporter named Freddie Lounds had a significant impact on Abigail. Prior to meeting Freddie, Abigail had wanted to forget her past and move on with her life. She did not talk with the press and showed no desire to tell her story as she walked past them. As mentioned in the background section, Freddie was able to manipulate Abigail by using Abigail's fears. Freddie was also the one who allowed Abigail to see that Nicholas Boyle was an innocent man. While Abigail no longer wishes to write a book, she continues to carry a paranoia of how others view her.

The head of the FBI, Jack Crawford, influenced Abigail despite having limited interactions with her. He suspected her role in her father's crimes and in the death of Nick Boyle immediately. He forced her to look at Nicholas' Boyle's body during an interrogation, bringing up her fears again. He was able to see through her manipulations with Alana. Freddie's manipulations and Jack's accusations contributed to the growing paranoia in Abigail. This paranoia may lead her to wrongly believe that others know details from her file about her past, and to be defensive.

The two most important influences in Abigail's life, perhaps even more than her father, were Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter. Despite her near adulthood when her parents died, they thought of her as an orphan and felt responsibility towards her. Both men sought to be father figures to Abigail and yet she related to them in very different ways.

Will Graham killed Abigail's father to save her life. He sat by her hospital bed as she lay in a coma. He initially had an idealized view of her, believing her incapable of involvement in her father's crimes. As mentioned in the background section, she had many concerns about Will and feared him. He made accusations that scared her and led to her choosing to hide with Hannibal. During the period when Abigail lived with Hannibal, she was influenced to want a family with Hannibal, Will and her together. When she saw Will again, she no longer feared him. As she died, she knew Will was the only person left that tried to save her. Due to that act and Hannibal's manipulations, Abigail is now motivated to create a bond with Will.

Hannibal was also present when Abigail's father died. He saved Abigail's life. She knew there was a possibility that he was a serial killer because she recognized his voice from a suspicious phone call made to her home that night. She accepted his first explanation for calling that night without question, ignoring her own concerns in order to develop a closer connection with him. She went to him for help after killing Nicholas Boyle. Hannibal was the only one Abigail felt safe enough with to be completely honest with about Nick Boyle, her father and her true feelings. Under the use of psilocybin, she hallucinated him as her father and afterwards her bond with Hannibal was strengthened. She grew to depend on him completely. When Abigail felt the FBI would arrest her, she ran away from Will and found Hannibal in her childhood home. During the conversation that followed, she realized he was a killer with many victims, including her friend Marissa. While she knew it wasn't smart to accept Hannibal as she had done with her Dad, it was clear that in some ways, she already had. She went into hiding with Hannibal, helping him to fake her death and believing in his promises. Her time with him had some happy moments, such as learning to play the harpsichord, and he manipulated her through unique therapy sessions where he convinced her that she had loved her father and that she loved him. There were also reminders of Hannibal's nature, for example, a woman named Beverly Katz found Abigail hiding in Hannibal's basement and Hannibal killed her. Abigail became as bonded to Hannibal as she was with her own father. She was willing to kill for him and willing to go to him even when she knew he was going to kill her. Despite what he did, she will feel lost without him and may even blame herself for her death. She will have difficulty adjusting to her new life without his guidance and will seek out the support of others. She will talk to people and try to learn as much about them as possible without revealing information about herself, in order to find out who she can trust and who can help make her life easier.

Abigail felt a tremendous guilt for role in the events of her past, specifically the many deaths she feels responsible for - her father's victims, Marissa, Nick Boyle, Beverly Katz and even Alana Bloom as she believes Alana to be dead. This has resulted in depression and a low self-esteem. She believed that there was something inherently wrong with her, a fault that drove her father's actions and her own, and wondered if she might be a sociopath or a monster. This guilt and self-doubt is very difficult for Abigail. She knew that she must suppress it and find a way to live with herself in order to function. The guilt moved into her subconscious mind, plaguing with her nightmares. In these dreams, it became clear that on some level she believed that she should have died in the place of other victims. These dreams also depicted Abigail's fear than she will be caught and blamed for her past actions. These dreams are likely to continue. When she wakes up from such a dream, the trauma of her past will have resurfaced in her mind.

For Abigail, an even more powerful motivator than guilt is fear. There is a constant threat of being judged by others in her mind, that started with her own self-doubt, and was added to by events such as seeing the word 'cannibals' spray-painted on her childhood home and being followed by reporters. It was further increased by Freddie's words, Jack's interrogation and Will's accusations. This has led her to see the world around her as a scary place where she will always be labelled as a killer's daughter, a cannibal and as a murderer. This is especially terrifying as to her because such labels confirm her worst beliefs about herself.

To avoid being judged, she was willing to manipulate others around her. As a skilled liar, she hid her true feelings and displayed enough false emotions to convince people of what she wants them to believe,starting with Alana and continuing with everyone else, except Hannibal. She did her best to have others view her as the innocent girl she used to be, and not as the monster that she believed herself to be. She was careful to create and maintain an image of herself as a victim of circumstances beyond her control. She looked for ways to obtain help from others and tailored the way she acted around others, depending on her perception of them. She could be timid while denying her past around one person to look incapable of it. With another, she could display anger while denying her past to appear falsely accused. She hid the physical scar from her past by wearing a scarf around her neck in public, and was rarely seen happy. If she thinks anyone knows about her past in game, she would likely behave in the same way. She will continue to wear scarves and will try to hide her missing ear.

Even greater than Abigail's fear of being judged, is her fear of being alone with her thoughts and memories. Even her happier memories, such as a mountain climbing trip, felt tainted by the rest of her past. She wanted to avoid any thoughts of her past altogether. She longed for a future where she could start brand new. Spending nights in a hospital room felt very confining for her. Jack Crawford and Will Graham's words led to a fear of being imprisoned. The idea of going to a real prison and the feeling of being trapped was overwhelming. She was willing to take actions that would make her feel more guilt, to avoid this worst fear. She would rather risk her life, than risk being arrested. She may worry that her new life could be some elaborate trap to place her in a prison and her paranoia may resurface.

Despite her dependency, guilt and fear, there is a chance for her to live a happier life. She can escape the legacy of her father's crimes and finally feel free.

POWER:

Note: these are created as she has no superpowers in canon.

Knife skills - Abigail is incredibly proficient with knifes. When cooking, with a knife, she can slice, dice, chop, etc food into elaborate shapes very quickly. She can butcher any meat perfectly. When she throws a knife, she can hit even the smallest target accurately. She can find ways to conceal a knife easily, no matter what clothes she wears. If she has to defend herself, she can pin someone to a wall with through the clothes without hurting them, or hit a non-vital body part easily. If she ever wishes to be deadly, she can kill instantly with a knife.

Enhanced sense of smell - Abigail has an incredibly sensitive sense of smell. She can detect and identity people, plants, animals and objects by their scent. She can tell if someone is ill or injured by their scent. If she were to become lost, she may be able to find her way home by her sense of smell alone.

Harpsichord power: When Abigail plays a harpsichord, she can hit any note perfectly. The music she creates is enjoyed by anyone who hears it, even if they wouldn't normally like hearing a harpsichord. Depending on the song she plays, she can cause the listener to have an intense emotional reaction, recall a specific memory, help soothe them to sleep, or heal any wound or illness that the listener might have. She can not heal herself or affect herself in any other way with the music, only other people.

〈 CHARACTER SAMPLES 〉
COMMUNITY POST (VOICE) SAMPLE:

[A voice message]

Hi. I'm Abigail. I'm new here. It's been awhile since I've been online. I haven't even texted anyone in what feels like forever. It's a long story and I think the only one who'd want to hear it is Freddie Lounds. Um, she's not here, is she?

[She stops speaking for a moment.]

I'm gonna take that as a no. What about Han -.

[She pauses again.]

Never mind. I guess this is a chance at a fresh start for me. It's not the first time I was supposed to have a fresh start. I'm kind of waiting for something to come along and mess it up. That's what always happens. I thought things would be different last time and, um, and I'm probably bringing all of you down.

[There is another pause and when she speaks again, her voice is more upbeat]

Let's try this. Tell me something about yourselves. Anything to make me feel like I'm not just talking to myself.


LOGS POST (PROSE) SAMPLE:

Abigail exited the car and stood outside in a daze, clutching the pamphlet and file folder she'd been given tightly in her hands. She was standing in front of her new home, if she was to believe what she had been told. She'd nodded like she'd understood the debriefing, but had merely wanted to get away from the people. Everyone felt like a threat, especially since she had died. She knew she had died. If Will had somehow managed to save her life, the FBI would have locked her up for the things she'd done and she would have deserved it. She knew she wasn't dead anymore either. If there was an afterlife, she would have seen her father and he'd be ushering her into hell, not a new house. This was something else.

Abigail took a few shaky steps inside the home, leaving the door open so she wouldn't feel trapped. She toured the house, feeling herself calm down until she entered the kitchen. Not that long ago, she'd been planning for a new life and a better future with Hannibal. Then he'd stabbed Will, cut her throat and left her to die on a kitchen floor, as her father had done. Being in another kitchen was overwhelming. She turned and ran out of the home instinctively. Tears filled her eyes, blurring her vision, and yet she continued her panicked run until she bumped into someone. "Sorry. I'm sorry." She stammered out nervously and wiped at her eyes.

FINAL NOTES: Abigail is missing an ear and has a scar on her neck which she usually covers with a scarf.